Yard Sale Bloodbath

It’s true, all three of us met for sales this last Saturday and it was one of the first really nice weather breaks we have had. Meeting at my house at 8:30 Jenny and Karl started to talk about some sale that our saling comrade Pat had told Karl to hit. Sadly, I wasn’t able to 100% follow the conversation, since I was trying to clean up the entire 12 oz. glass of water that I had just spilt on my couch. Ehg.

The sale turned out to be pretty good, with 4 boxes of pretty decent LP’s on the front porch. The seller did have some really good records, but as most of her prices had been just a buck or two lower than what you would find at a used record store, both Karl and I knew we wouldn’t be buying too much. Oddly enough, even though she was selling some great records, she was playing STYX — something that I couldn’t really not comment on. Meanwhile, there was this Record Nerdlinger (look I know my people!) who was trying to sort of be in all the boxes at once, or taking up as much space as he could, so Karl and I sort of surrounded him. Karl was sort of wrestling one of the boxes away from the nerdlinger guy, then all of a sudden both Karl and I started to serenade him with the chorus of the Styx song. I think it was then that he realized he was out of his league and mumbled off to other parts of the sale.

Inside the house she had some great stuff, but much of it had been sold already. We did see Pat and I picked up a really cool wood and metal milk crate from 1958. Jenny picked up office supplies — exciting, right? Then above the stairs we saw this amazing Dukes of Hazzard bean art.

Now, it wasn’t for sale, so you don’t need to comment about how much it was or why we didn’t buy it or what we paid for it … that just proves that you don’t read. The seller told us that it was created by amazing mosaic portrait artist Jason Mecier.

We also found this! Yeah, it’s a foot bottle. Um, yeah. No comment.

The next sale was a sort of moving-vintage-digger sale.

Nothing was as amazing as you thought it would be when you broke into a new bag, but she had tons of stuff to look at and I think we all picked up a couple of things.

Jenny was sort of intrigued by this homemade sock-monkey-with-cigarette thing.

And both of us seemed fascinated by this note folder thing, since we both remember it from the late 70s or early 80s. Why a 9 year old would want that is sort of ridiculous if you think about or look at it for too long.

The next was one that we had hit a year or so back (where we saw one of the most horrifying movie-prop creatures ever) and the guy was an artist or an art collector. The second we pulled up we knew it was the same guy. He was nice enough, but in the end he had a personality tic that I really don’t like: The One Upper. Meaning he has to one-up every single thing anyone has to say about anything. Starting when I noticed a poster and said it was cool: “Oh, that’s by Art Chantry and blah, blah, blah.” I tuned out, just saying “Yeah, Art is a nice guy” (implying that maybe I know him).

The entire sale was like that. If you said you like one fanzine out of the 50+ he had, he launched into some story about something. Jenny was accumulating a small stack of items, but I sort of just wanted to get the fuck out of there. Although he did have this bizarre kids book that I was sort of into.

The next sale turned out to be newer deadheads who I guess follow Phish!

I know this subculture, but it’s not my subculture, so I don’t really “get” making horrible jean pocket purses for sale.

We did hear a very long conversation about the upcoming 3 day Phish concert that the folks doing the sale planned to attend. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

We headed to another sale and saw this sign on the way.

It looked janky, but why not? Turned out to be a perma-sale with crazy prices.

Run. What has our day turned into, it’s not even noon and the sales have started to suck.

Our last sale (as Karl moaned about needing a unicorn chaser) was pretty good. I mean he had pretty cool stuff, like this old record player.

I purchased this vintage picnic set from the 20s.

After this it was time to call it a day!

After about a month away from yard sales it was time to get back in the saddle last weekend! On Friday I went to craigslist to do the usual list-making routine, happy that it was July and the weather looked nice and thus there were plenty of sales to be had. For some reason, there seemed to be a rash of ads with really odd photos in them … here’s one example. (The ad pretty much just said “Grandma is downsizing!”)

That wasn’t quite as strange as this picture, inexplicably added into an ad listing “BEADS BEADS BEADS … AND A PROPANE DEEP FRYER (FOR THE DUDES)”:

Okay then! As it turned out, at our first sale I found an item that, now that I think of it, sort of fits in with both of those pics: Tarot of the Cat People. I purchased this for my cat-loving daughter, not realizing how wacky it truly was (when I looked closer, I learned that it’s set “in the fantasy world of the Outer Regions, where the Cat People live”). Somehow Meghan began singing a song with the lyrics “Tarot of the Cat People” … yes, it’s sad that we don’t have audio, but whatever you are thinking is probably pretty close.

We cruised around our area for a while, passing up two different estate sales with lines out front in favor of random yard sales that were open for biz. As often happens when nearly a week passes before blogging, many of these have blended together in my mind … thankfully, we took pics of lots of odd items that pretty much speak for themselves.

But wait! There’s more …

Yes, Confederate Cannon Ball appetizers. (They’re tangy AND subtle!) We did spot signs for a garage sale that really should have been listed as DOLL SALE.

It was here that Meghan and I discussed that maybe we should have better hand signals when trying to sneak photos, since she was motioning me to stay put and I thought she wanted me to move out of the way.

It was late enough that we figured the estate sales would be less crazy, so we went back to the one that seemed most promising, listed as “time stopped in 1970 digger sale.” The first thing we saw when we walked in? This amazing Spin Art sign.

There were more signs strewn about — several carved into wood plaques. It seemed like someone had some carnival type business going on.

The wood signs were priced at $12, which seemed high, though now I am half-regretting not purchasing “Adults $1.00, Minors .50.”

Calling this a digger sale really seemed like a stretch. Compared to your typical jam-packed estate sale, there just wasn’t that much there.

I did ogle the pile of vintage curtains and fabric, although I have long since stopped allowing myself to randomly purchase this sort of thing.

After quickly perusing the upstairs, we headed to the basement. Yes, we used caution.

It was very tidy downstairs.

Apparently the guy had been an engineer.

I guess he liked to bring his work home with him.

There were a few signs of hoarderiness, but it was pretty under control.

Though this was a bit disturbing to see.

I didn’t end up purchasing anything, but Meghan grabbed this old Sunny Jim can based purely on the fact that it is really strange to see a peanut with a Hitler mustache.

Driving away, we laughed at this tiny little sale sign on a stop sign pole. Can you read it? Neither could we.

We went off to a block sale, but it was bad. Half the houses seemed to have just given up on their sales, with stuff on the lawn but no one in sight.

We drove off to this “Awesome” sale (that wasn’t) …

And then spotted these eye-catching “jumble sale” signs.

This turned out to be a sale that we we had been hitting on a regular basis a few years back with vintage textiles, clothing, and miscellaneous cool stuff. The seller reads this blog (HI!) and it was nice to see her again, even though this time neither of us bought anything.

We headed home, talking about a sale I’d seen an ad for that based on the location, we figured was this awful “perma-sale” that had been going 24-7 (literally) for the past ten days or so … leaving their stuff outside around the clock, even through a few rainstorms. We planned to stay away, but when we drove past we saw a separate sale at the house next door. Their sale actually turned out to be pretty cool. The people were friendly and they had fun stuff.

Meghan kind of loved these antlers, but they were asking something like $75 so she passed.

I thought this humongo sign was pretty great.

That was it for the day. And I realize now that I have barely talked about anything we actually purchased … though as you can see from the trunk, we did buy a few items. The only thing I will mention is that Meghan bought a couple of L.A.M.B purses that seemed to have never been used for $40 (from a lady who was nice, but a bit odd, and seemed to practically have a mental shutdown when I tried to pay for a $2 item with a 20-dollar bill). When she got home, she found that inside one of the purses was ANOTHER purse, which still had its Nordstrom price tag on. It had been purchased for around $200. Score!

Not the greatest day, but not bad — and as far as I can tell, the earth did not collide with Nibiru on Saturday, so that was a bonus.

I’ve been seeing a few collections of the worst, funniest, or most ridiculous LP covers here and there. We’ve certainly encountered our share of gems in the wild, so I thought I’d put together a post of our own.

Both of the quality LPs below are on the GROSS RECORDS label.

This one Karl pointed out, saying it’s one of his most hated record covers, all because of the dog’s mouth. At first I thought he was crazy, but after staring at it for a while, I started to see what he means.

“You Figure It Out!” Okay …

We had a comment on our flickr page that I think just might’ve: “drag kings.”

Now, this one is just … baffling.

There is something unsettling about the intensity on his face. (The guy, not the moose.)

We’ve had several encounters with aerobics-meistress Joannie Greggain. She seems to change her look every so often, but never loses her legwarmers.

Apparently this next one is actually quite the rarity. (Some guy had just purchased it when we got to this sale, but he let us take a picture.)

This one is also apparently worth bucks, but I just took a picture and left it behind. Oh well, you can’t win ‘em all.

Karl purchased this gem some time ago and was going to guest-blog about it. (I don’t think that is ever going to happen.)

Dig that crazy lipstick!

This one is a CD, but I think it still needs to be in this post …

And finally, a record I purchased (in exactly this condition) at some thrift store in California back in the ’90s.

I will probably never listen to this, but I don’t think I will ever part with it.

Here are some recently unearthed old-time hunting photos from the estate sale last week. It seems like a stretch that these people would keep canning items covered with saran wrap for 25 years.

Maybe this is the couple that the letters that Jenny mentioned are about. We will never know.

When hunting and camping was all the rage and you needed to have your hair “set” each week, so you better keep it in a scarf. Long before Cabin Chic. It’s a wonder how they just got by with a nice wool jacket instead of the fancy base layers, digital equipment and camouflage.

I am amazed they didn’t take a photo of the deer strapped onto their truck.

Or maybe they did and I was just unable to find it while digging into piles of clothing mixed with mouse traps.

Hard to believe, but today marks five whole years since we launched this blog. I think that’s practically middle-aged in Internet terms, though we seem to still be in the “bratty toddler” stage. There’s been joy, there’s been horrors, and there’s definitely been more crazy, weird, and occasionally cool junk than anyone probably ever needs to see.

Many heartfelt thanks to all our readers, old and new. Maybe you’d like to celebrate our blogaversary by watching our video?

Yard Sale Bloodbath – “Food of the Damned” on Vimeo.

Or maybe you’d like to take a gander at our staggering collection of junk-in-my-trunk photos. There are well over 100, which is sort of frightening, especially when you see them all in one place.

Then maybe you’d like to ask us what we do with all that stuff … eh, don’t do that, just read this instead.

Or just stay with us as we continue boldly onward in this bloggy adventure. Here’s to heaps of good scores for everyone! And plenty of crazy stuff to blog about. Based on the last five years, we feel pretty confident that there’s no shortage of that out there.

I know we always slow down on posts at this time of year, but it’s been getting ridiculous. Nearly two months without a post! Though it hasn’t been quite that long without a sale. I have hit two separate estate sales, hoping to find either good stuff or interestingly bad stuff, but they were both a bust: decent but unexciting items, nothing breathtakingly awful, no frightening or hilarious encounters with other shoppers to report. Though possibly if Vintage Picker Ryan Gosling had gotten there early to snag the #1 spot, they might’ve been better.

But really, I think hibernating from sales is a good plan around this time of year. So let’s just revisit a few holiday-riffic gems from older days! Starting with this gem from our most Christmassy post ever, guest star Leslie’s romp through the 1978 Swiss Colony Christmas catalog.

There was the time Meghan leaped into a gingerbread man yard sale sign to provide some comedy gold …

… and the early ’40s Boeing magazine with an interesting take on the Christmas spirit.

And naturally, we’ve seen (and occasionally purchased) mounds and mounds of Christmas crap at sales throughout the years.

So may the spirit of peace be with you this holiday season.

And here’s to some amazing yard sale scores (and stories) in 2012!

Sometimes we see signs when we are just out walking. Maybe we missed the original sale because they only made a few signs, we knocked off early, or they never listed the sale on craigslist. Hard to think of someone having a sale and not listing on craigslist, but I guess some folks do.

This sign is wonderful, I walked by it near my work.

This is pure craftsmanship when it comes to moving sale signs. Hand painted, two ponies magazine cut-out, and the added-on part of cardboard at the bottom. You know they got bored after about four of these. I could have made like one of these and that would have been it.

The second one is the extreme opposite. I walked by this one last weekend in San Francisco. They didn’t even make signs, but just hijacked someone else’s sign from the month before.

I love them both.

Last night I dreamed that it was Saturday and I overslept by several hours, completely missing out on yard sales (and annoying Meghan). Seems extra-funny considering that apparently, the second Saturday in August — i.e., tomorrow — is “National Garage Sale Day”!

We were recently interviewed for an article which talks about this holiday, as well as other finer points of the yard sale experience. Here’s a snippet of the printed version (with our swanky bingo pic) — the full text can be found online here.

Enjoy the article … and hope National Garage Sale Day treats you right.