Hellish deals

Posted by Jenny in Junk In My Trunk, Sale Tales | 10 Comments

After a couple of non-blogworthy sales (Meghan alone w/ no interesting sales one week, neither of us going out the next) we made the rounds again last weekend. Our first stop was a block sale that we’ve been to a few times before. Meghan immediately got wistful remembering her huge Aveda score way back in the blog’s early days. We did go to the same woman’s sale, but she didn’t have anything nearly that exciting. In fact, most of the stuff on the block was perhaps a bit odd, but not really score-worthy.

Ballard Chooses Peace

Google fridge

Rasta wig

Meghan did buy a bunch of clothes at one house, including some crazy Versace jeans which may or may not be fake, but all in all it wasn’t amazing. So we headed over to our next stop. I’d gotten excited when I spotted the listing for the “Green 55 Memorial Yard Sale” — we know those people! They’re friends of our pal and occasional guest star Leslie (who contributed one of my favorite-ever posts about her demented Swiss Colony Christmas catalog purchase). Thanks to the historical record that our blog provides I can tell you that the last time we hit their sale was four years ago (almost to the day). It was wacky then! And it was wacky now.

Wacky yard sale

One of the first things we spotted was this sign promising “Hellish Deals.” Awesome!

Hellish Deals

Meghan beelined over to a pile of sewing patterns, but this huge spread of books grabbed my attention first.

Spread o' books

As expected, the mix was … interesting.

Classy books

Some of them were a bit steamy!

Steamy books

I picked up a couple of titles and then moved on to the tables, where I admired these smiling clam plaques.

Googly greetings

There was a lot of oddball stuff …

Rainier mug and goofy items

That creepy-looking doll in the corner looked so familiar and I had to rack my brain and dig through our photos to figure out where I’d seen it before — I thought it might be a leftover from four years ago, but turns out it just has the same face as one we saw long ago at what we now refer to as “the freak sale.”

I laughed at these coasters with the “Watergate Bug.”

Watergate Bug coasters

And admired this amazing Faberge box (but did not dare to smell it).

Faberge

I picked up a little box marked “Things of science” and a woman next to me gasped, remembering how her family had once had a subscription to it — I guess they sent you a different thing of science each month. This particular thing? Latex.

Things of Science: Latex

We each made a few purchases, then moved on. Our next few stops were pretty boring, except for spotting an asparagus umbrella holder, something that I can honestly say I never would have imagined existed.

IMG_4474

One sale had an impressive selection of pug-themed decorative plates.

Pug plates

They also had pug ornaments. (And a lot of Barbies.)

Pugs n' Barbies

We worked our way through my list, turning down one block before realizing that it was blocked off by a bunch of construction happening right in front of the sale.

Construction in front of a yard sale

The sellers seemed amazingly unfazed by this — I would be freaking out if that was going on in front of my sale. I didn’t buy anything here, but I did snag a cassette tape out of their free pile.

Skate rock!

And right after I grabbed that one, I found this. Our theme song!

Dueling Banjos

Well, at least our theme song when we go to a sale that seems creepily isolated. If Meghan actually had a cassette player in her car I would have cued it up and left it ready to go.

It was around this time that Meghan mentioned that the signs for a “3 GALS SALE” that we had hit three or four weeks back were still hanging up. As we have mentioned many times, it is just plain rude when people leave their signs up long after the sale is over. Especially when they are on a busy intersection that you know those people must be driving by all the time, seeing their signs, and not caring. This one had been up long enough that it was spattered with dried-out mud. What to do? Well, Meghan pulled over, I grabbed the sign, and we added a friendly reminder.

Take Down Your Signs

And then? The sign was repatriated.

Repatriated sign

Yes, we drove to their house and stuck it into their yard. I cannot tell you how hard we were laughing about this.

Our next stop? A church rummage sale that we’ve hit a few times with mixed results. Walking in, it didn’t seem too promising.

Needs Battery

I picked up a couple of books and Meghan got a jacket, then went back to dig through the stuff outside. It was there that Meghan found one of the day’s best scores, an old wooden box marked with warnings about the explosives inside. A woman there said her father had been a scientist and it still had the paper mailing label from when it had been sent to him. Meghan purchased it for a whopping five dollars.

We then stumbled upon another church sale nearby — we’ve been to this one a few times and it is never very good, but we went in anyway. This time it seemed like there might be potential there, so we started looking around. A guy at a table full of scented candles started talking to us and giving us a sales pitch about why we should buy some. Just then Meghan looked up and pointed at a couch in the corner. “Is that guy sleeping?” Sure enough, a guy was lying there sleeping, and snoring — I hadn’t noticed until she pointed him out, but I’m not sure how I missed it. It was loud! “Oh yeah,” the guy at the candle table said. “He worked last night.” I was trying to figure out how that really explained anything, and whether I could possibly take a picture (or get some video!) without it seeming super weird, when he grabbed one of the candles and shoved it into Meghan’s face, urging her to smell it. At that point we decided to flee the premises.

I had a sale on the list nearby, but it had started on Friday and their sign looked kind of perma, so I wasn’t expecting much. But when we pulled up Meghan got excited, saying she’d been there before and it was an estate sale where they were slowly digging through the house, bringing out new items all the time.

Ancient items

While she chatted with the lady to see if they had gotten into the clothes yet, I went into the little shed, where they had housewares and other items set up.

The indoor section

I noticed this little sign about the same Falopy-Occupants (?!) being there since 1947 and reserving the right to refuse entries to unwanted persons — I can only imagine what kind of encounters prompted them to put that up.

Same Falopy-Occupants

I almost succumbed to the temptation of purchasing a large box of christmas wrapping and cards for $2 until realizing that I needed more of that kind of crap like a hole in the head. Meghan bought something here but I have honestly forgotten what it was.

We hit another antiquey sale where everything had ridiculous prices …

Overpriced antiquey sale

… and one where things seemed very pink.

Pink sale

Another sale had a really demented selection of rock t-shirts.

Like whoa man

We also spotted this self-announcing dry erase board.

I AM A DRY ERASE BOARD

And finally we hit a sale that stretched out over a whole block — this was only half of it. It looked promising, but was not.

Block-long sale

Our trunk actually had some cool stuff in it, but it was so bright and sunny out that the photo came out terrible! I had to tweak the contrast like crazy just so you could see anything, and you still can’t see much.

Junk In My Trunk 8-25-12

So to make up for that, let me share with you a dream that Meghan had last week. She told me that she dreamed that she and I had lived through some sort of disaster situation — everyone else seemed to be dead and we were trying to figure out what we needed to go out and gather to survive. As we were roaming around through the deserted streets, we saw another person in the distance! We approached cautiously. Any guesses who that other person turned out to be?

Yes. The two of us were alone in the world with … Annoying Jewelry Guy. Cue scream of apocalyptic horror NOW!

10 Responses to Hellish deals

  1. Emma Kate says:

    You passed up the Peter Frampton shirt? Nooo!
    Love the explosives box!

  2. SixBalloons says:

    Oh no, the jewelry guy?! At least not the lazy car door dude.

    Did you leave behind the google cooler? So neat.

  3. martina says:

    Now that truly was a nightmare! He didn’t come by our sale this summer.

  4. Jenny says:

    SixBalloons — Jewelry Guy IS lazy car door guy!!! One and the same!

  5. Donna says:

    What the heck does Falopy-Occupants mean? You guys find some strange yard sales in your neck of the woods. I thought Virginia had some weird ones.

    Being stuck with Jewelry guy would be as bad as my nemesis ‘Loud Talking woman’. I’m constantly running into the loud talker and she’s always telling the person she’s buying something from WHY she’s buying whatever she’s buying. Like they (and everyone anywhere in the neighborhood) really cares why she’s buying it!

    I love to read your yard sale adventures. Mine seem so tame in comparison

  6. Dan says:

    I always laugh at the Ballard Chooses Peace signs with the viking warship on them. I had forgoten about those gems.

  7. Ellie says:

    Love your blog! Along with weird stuff, signs seem like a big deal out there. Here in PA we are lucky if we can READ the sign from the road. I also hope you got the Google cooler – that was neat! I am going to Google “Falopy.”

  8. Melissa says:

    The amended and repatriated sign was genius – you guys are my HEROES! Still can’t stop laughing.

  9. SixBalloons says:

    Oh Jenny, how can one man be so annoying…

    I always think of dumping people’s crap back onto their lawns, so you guys are my heroes. Like those people that have a FREE pile that ends up a mess, but they just ignore it. Pigs.

  10. Vonlipi says:

    Thank you for the laughs.

    I was out yard saling today and most of the sales were super boring. I didn’t even bother to take pictures.

    Every time I go thrifting I think of annoying jewelry guy…