Yard Sale Bloodbath

Meghan hit some sales last Friday. I don’t think she bought much, but she did see this amazing sign.

Sadly, their sale didn’t, um, perform as advertised, at least for Meghan and her friend. But they get high marks for hilarity!

I didn’t actually start looking at Saturday’s yard sale ads until shortly before we headed out. To be honest, I wasn’t in that much of a junking mood. Not until I saw a listing that I realized must be the same person/house as one of the most legendary sales we’ve ever hit: the woman who had over 1,000 pieces of vintage clothing priced at $3 each. We more than filled the trunk at her sale alone. Say no more, I am there!

We knew she wouldn’t have nearly as huge of a spread this time, but even so, we were all over it. We got there a bit early and she already had shoppers looking around. Meghan and I each started accumulating a pile of clothes — it was easy to go a little nuts since most items were a whopping $2.

Whereas the last one was a “getting out of the vintage reselling business” sale, this one was an actual moving sale. She had lots of books, housewares, and other fun stuff.

In addition to the clothes, Meghan got a fantastic vintage mobile and I purchased a vintage kitchen shelf — I have no idea what I’m going to do with this, but it is cool. I really have no business buying any furniture right now, but sometimes I just have a moment. I guess I’ll find a place for it, or else it will end up in our next yard sale.

The sale ja vu theme continued when we headed to our next sale. As we turned up the street I said “hey, is this that wacky multi-family sale we’ve hit here a few times?” The address seemed right, but that sale always had crazy elaborate signs (like the top one on this post), and we hadn’t seen any. But right when I had decided it must be a different sale after all, we spotted these women walking down the street.

If you can’t tell, that particular sign features Sloth from the Goonies … one of several amazing designs they busted out this year. Like this one!

“All proceeds from this yard sale go to ALF House” — hmmmm. And what’s this?

Definitely one for the yard sale sign hall of fame. That writing at the bottom? “IS the Goblin King. We just sell stuff.” Who can argue with that?

These people definitely know how to have a good time at a yard sale. And their stuff? Not bad at all.

I admired this amazing mirror with its exhortation to “Go To Church Every Sunday” — the inset revealed it had been provided by “Russell Towner, Graduate Masseur.”

At first Meghan was disappointed, since last time she’d been here she’d bought all kinds of great newer high-end clothes. We wondered if that person hadn’t joined in this time — then realized she was there and just getting her things unpacked! Meghan swooped on that (very politely), ending up with a bag full of shoes, clothes, and purses, and officially out of cash after just two sales. We hit the bank and made a snack stop, then moved on through the other sales in the neighborhood. At one of them, I noticed this older guy haggling over some items — he was wearing shorts and had tattoos on both calves which seemed to be names of antique/resale businesses. One was something like “Auction Wizards,” the other “Antiquing with Dave and Bill” (probably two completely different names, but I have already forgotten). I went and whispered for Meghan to check it out, but couldn’t get the nerve up to ask him about them. He seemed to have a bit of a competitive “I’m a pro” vibe (though I could have been projecting, based on the tats) and was also at our next stop, arriving in a truck with New York license plates. We started joking that he was on a big pickin’ trip and wondering where his film crew was. Then we decided to head into a different area. I promptly found (but did not purchase) this mysterious thing.

Next, a sale that looked good … at least from a distance. While Meghan stammered over an amazingly hideous green satin party dress, I drifted over to the troll n’ viking table. Uff da!

Our time at this sale was cut short, due to a woman carrying a wind chime all around the sale, making sure to shake it rhythmically for maximum annoyance value. She seemed not to even realize she was doing it, but it quickly became maddening and we had to flee.

Next, a sale which didn’t have much except for a $2 Judas Priest t-shirt. Meghan bought it and the guy told her, “Be careful about banging your head too much in that shirt.” She gave him a blank look, and he went on to clarify that it was a headbanging shirt. Um, thanks, man. I’m sure she’ll keep that in mind.

Sadly, after such an amazing start, things seemed to be fizzling out. After a few utterly boring stops we drove to an estate sale that sounded promising — first off, we almost didn’t even see it and then it ended up just being two small rooms, not the whole house like I’d thought. We then hit a sale in a basement that was in the process of being converted to a separate apartment. There were a bunch of cool books here — Meghan picked up a bunch, but I somehow restrained myself. Neither of us were tempted by this very large wall hanging.

There was one more sale I wanted to hit that had just opened up at 11, and whose ad had an possibly-intriguing, possibly-stoner vibe: “Hey Now – We’re selling STUFF.” All right, dudes! They had tons of CDs — all over the map, with a heavy local bent (like old fundraiser or live-at-some-long-gone-club compilations) and conveniently still in roughly-alphabetical order. At $2 each both of us had to grab a handful. After that we called it a day. And in my opinion, this is definitely the best trunk shot we’ve had in a while!