Strange Saturday

Posted by Meghan in Sale Tales | 1 Comment

For the first time in ages we got an early start – like 8:00. I know for other areas that isn’t all that early, but in Seattle most sales start at 9:00 or 10:00. With that said, one of the last sales we hit on Saturday started at 11:00, and at 11:20 they still didn’t have anything unpacked. Even if you drink heavy or work in a bar, how could you not be ready?!

We hit some really boring sales right off the bat. Kid crap, Pottery Barn and the Gap. I know many folks like that stuff, but I really can’t stand most of it. We did hit one sale that had this amazing disco record player. Ten years ago I would have loved to own it, but I am getting stronger with age.

Disco 80

We hit an amazing new bakery in Seattle. Yummy and worth a drive across town.

Next was estate sale near the zoo and I just hate the company that puts on these sales, since it’s so obvious that they put leftover stuff from other sales into the next estate. It’s tacky and they usually don’t have anything good to begin with. Jenny picked up a copy of the sci-fi game Amoeba Wars for some unknown reason. I did spy these sad prom dresses in the basement, but the room was scary.

Forlorn prom dresses

I was excited that avant-garde lady was having her clothing and textile sale at 10:00. On the way there we saw another sale half a block from her house. As I was getting ready to pull over I obeyed the Seattle pedestrian right of way law (yeah, we really have one of those) and the guy that I stopped for started yelling at us and was obviously drunk (he even had four tall cans in a bag). At the sale even the sellers seemed a little shocked by the guy. Their sale sucked, but Jenny felt the need to see if she could get me buy some Ricky Martin DVDs. I think I told her to get bent (in so many words). Then as we started to get back in the car, I saw this woman jogging and she didn’t exactly seem retarded, but she did seem like she was a little “funny” and she was jogging really strange. I pointed her out to Jenny and as she passed us her ass was full on sticking out of her skirt. Like her panties had ridden WAY UP. It was a major DON’T in a Vice Magazine kind of way.

Since it was pretty grim and there was nothing else around, we went and sat on the porch til the clothing/fabric sale opened up. She had great stuff and it was nice to have first crack at everything.

Acres of fabrics

Sad, that the woman was super tiny, so many items just would never have fit. I did get four bakelite animal napkin rings for $18 and a really nice 50’s gabardine jacket for $20. Some items I told her should really go onto eBay, but she seemed content.

Vintage clothes sale

After that we went to what was supposed to be an estate sale, but was really by some picker that sort of bugs me when I see him at sales.

Large sprawling yard sale

There was a really odd assortment of old and new items and some of them had antique mall price tags on it, which is never good. Some of it was just strange.

Large shell thing

A friend of the seller’s who used to be a ref for the Rat City Rollergirls was there, so it was nice to see him. I asked if I could take a photo of this scary CPR guy.

Full body view

We don’t know what he really is, but let the nightmare begin. Jenny said that she really couldn’t imagine giving that thing mouth to mouth.

Freaky ass mannequin

We then hit a sale that didn’t have much, but the person having it was a hilarious tanorexic tranny. Very sweet, but it was almost hard to keep a straight face. It was at this point that we knew we needed to head for home. We really hadn’t bought much and it was starting to feel like the whole day was just too strange.

On the way home we hit the most boring sale whose ads had proclaimed to be “”two twenty-something girls needing a new start on life after bad ex-boyfriends and drama”” and “not only are we dead sexy and have a cute dog, but everything is priced to move!” It was two guys and a girl that really had nothing, but I thought this sign was funny. I asked if I could take a photo and they tried to give it to me. When I told them I only wanted a small version of it, one that could be deleted, they let me just take the picture.

Make love not mess

We stopped at one more boring sidewalk sale and then decided to check out one more from our list that was close to home. The ad said “NEW THINGS FROM THE CASTLE!!!” (yes, in all caps with three exclamation points) and we discussed what the hell that might actually mean. We never actually found out, since when we drove up it looked too pathetic to even bother to get out of the car.

We each bought a few items, but not even enough for a trunk photo.

One Response to Strange Saturday

  1. chris says:

    Only 98%? Who is making the other 2%? Are there monkeys buying doritos at the 7-11 and littering the empty dorito bags? Or perhaps there are 2% aliens living amongst us who are disguised as humans? Something to think about.