“HOW TO” write a demented garage sale decorating book

Posted by Meghan in Book Report | 6 Comments

It’s been a while since I have done a book review, but then I saw this at my local thrift store. Why, it looks like a great gag gift for Jenny!

The Garage Sale Decorator's Bible

It’s the Garage Sale Decorator’s Bible, by Shelley Kincaid. First, note her expression on the cover – is she afraid her cat is going to attack her? Or, as my thrifting partner suggested, worried that some of her “fabulous finds” are about to fall down and kill her?

The decorator herself. And cat.

The Amazon reviews aren’t as amazing as the ones for Microwave for One by Sonia Allison, but they really should be.

Most of the projects have a “crafty” feeling that even my grandma would be turned off by.

Canopy with cat

And the drawings are pretty low rent.

Lace leg lampshade instructions

Here are some of her amazing “HOW TO’S”. There are many, many, MANY more …

“HOW TO” MAKE A WATERBED HUTCH
“HOW TO” REMOVE UPHOLSTERY FABRIC
“HOW TO” ATTACH VCR TO TV
“HOW TO” TUNE IN THE BUTTON STYLE VCR
“HOW TO” SHRINK WRAP
“HOW TO” STORE YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE

Some of the crap in here is useful, like if you wanted to learn how to re-wire a lamp, but most folks are going to either ask at the hardware store or watch a “how-to” video online. I guess it makes a little more sense since this came out before youtube.com. The book was written in 1997, but it feels more like around 1988. Except that it does explain the Internet.

How the internet works

There is also a basically useless price guide listing the “retail,” “garage sale,” and “Shelley’s Best” prices for 33 pages’ worth of items, from Acrylic Nail Set to Z Brick.

She does have one thing right — the title of Chapter 1: GARAGE SALE~ING WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

6 Responses to “HOW TO” write a demented garage sale decorating book

  1. Abbie Grotke says:

    Wow, I never thought I would learn so much about the Internet from this crafting book!

  2. DogsMom says:

    These books are so very inspiring. They allow us to realize anyone can get a book published and there is a buyer for anything.

  3. Christine says:

    I thought the lady and the cat were part of the finds at the garage sales!

  4. SixBalloons says:

    That is one terrible book with many terrible tutorials!

  5. meghan says:

    SixBalloons,
    I am sure Jenny will part with her copy for you..
    😉
    Meghan

  6. I actually have that crown shelf! I figured as a yardsale queen I deserved a crown shelf plus it was only $1. I may have overpaid for it.