Yard Sale Bloodbath

Okay, now here is a book that is both entertaining, and about entertaining. Ostensibly, anyway. I think it’s really more about freaking people out, because this charming little cookbook pamphlet is chock full of seafood breakfast dishes.

The disgustingness just doesn’t stop with this one, with recipes like “Fluffy Salmon Omelet” and the gag-inducing “Peachy Scallops.” To be fair, a few of the recipes aren’t that bad; some, like pan-fried trout, sound perfectly tasty (although not necessarily for breakfast). “Clam-Corn Griddle Cakes” seem like an okay idea, in a savory-fritter kind of way … until you get to the part where they suggest serving them with cran-applesauce.

I bought this at a thrift store many years ago, but recently decided to send it on to a new home. I gave it to Rakka Deer at her recent retro food party. I apologize in advance to any future attendees if she actually decides to make and serve anything from this booklet.

I don’t mean books that are about how to entertain people; I mean books that are entertaining to look at.

On the left, we have The Munchies Eatbook: or how to satisfy the hungries without eating everything in sight. I’m guessing that most people in a “munchies” situation aren’t really going to take the time to break out a recipe (when busting into a bag of Doritos is so much more convenient), but what do I know. Also, the little inset graphic of the strawberries shared between pairs of Rolling-Stones-logo-ish mouths is really pretty strange – I’ve spent way too much time pondering how they decided to go with that particular image.

On the right, we have a perfectly normal photography book … except for the squirrelly-looking dude on the cover. Those glasses! That mustache! Those beady eyes! That wrapped-around-the-camera posture! I’m not sure I want to know what he was taking pictures of.

These books were seen (but not purchased) at a sale the Saturday before last. I didn’t go to any sales at all last weekend.

First we got Karl’s take on Saturday … now we get Cathy’s write-up. It’s double-guest-star-riffic!

Back when ebay didn’t take such a big bite out of sales with their fees, I got the fever and was hitting garage sales, estate sales and thrift stores regularly. For every two things I bought to sell on ebay, I’d keep at least one gem for myself. And I got some great stuff.

Then life with small children set in, and making time for garage sales dwindled. UNTIL … a few weeks ago when Jenny & Meghan had a sale of their own and turned me onto their blog. I was inspired and begged them to let me tag along on their next trip.

I had every intention of being responsible about keeping my early-morning commitment. Then I got an unexpected last-minute invite to a party (that I couldn’t refuse) the night before. Stumbling to Meghan’s at 8:30 am with only 4 hours of sleep and alcohol oozing from my pores wasn’t what I had envisioned. I wanted to be PERKY! But instead I clung on for dear life as her car zipped through the streets of Ballard & Greenwood while Jenny flipped through their (very organized) pages of listings saying, “turn here”, “I think it’s at the end of this street”, “oh, we’ve been to this one before” … If I had thrown up the night before, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so much like throwing up at the end of those 4 hours …

My experience was way overshadowed by my hangover, which is most likely why I lack enthusiasm looking back on the day … I remember a lot of stuff I wasn’t looking for (clothes, books, records) with some selections of merchandise that surprised me when I looked at the people running the sale. That’s always been one of my fave things about garage sale shopping — getting a peek into the lives behind the doors of strangers (or sometimes neighbors). One of my favorites was the chick with the huge collection of cheesy Elvis memorabilia for sale (and a really odd grouping of surplus corporate gear — tees, pens, hats, bags, etc — in the back yard). When we were leaving, I glanced in the window of the living room and saw an Elvis lampshade and bust on the end table. That sort of shattered the story I had imagined of her outgrowing the Elvis collection and moving on. I guess she was just thinning out some duplicate pieces. Hunk-a, hunk-a, and all that.

My friend Leigh had given me an address (at the party the night before) for her friend Heidi’s sale. Luckily, she wrote it on a sticky and put it on my dashboard, so it was there when I got in the car to head to Meghan’s. I bought my only real purchases of the day at Heidi’s — a pair of poodle mosaics and two little chalkware poodle heads.

Next time I promise to spend the night before on the couch watching a movie instead of drinking mystery champagne cocktails on Tasha’s porch until 3 am …

Thanks Cathy! We’ll get you out with us again soon … hung over or not!